~Recently~

honestly...recently does not happen many special things on me...
maybe 1 week happen 1 things to me?(haha...i guess?)
being bored in weekdays(maybe i already lose my direction?
maybe i never think about my direction?)...

dream...

many people talk about dream...but what is my dream?(until now...it still a mystery)
dream can support you to continue your journey...
in another word, no dream maybe live like a zombie(that me...)...
dream is not a strong force to push me to continue the journey...
how come like that?...haiz....
desperate with my life(zombie life)...

//maybe is time to find another way to insert to my mind...guess so...

love...

i not really understand about the meaning of love...
i guess everyone(teenager)...also will across this path way...
of course i done the same things...being love a person...
for me...love a person is a reaction come from a person bottom of the heart...
maybe in the love mode...will not think about many things...do not think it wisely...
is kind of automatic reaction to express your feeling to your idea couple...
maybe i not really know about her...
do not know what is she needed,what is she do not needed...
do not know how to communicate with her...
i cant find any topic to continue it...pain & sad feeling...
i wish that one day you will understand me...but i think this probability is quite low...
your reaction is too mystery(i not really understand it)...

#1...when i felt cold driving at the early morning(hand trembling)...
but you are saying your contact lens are uncomfortable with the air-con(make your contact lens too dry)...
then i change the power down
(that time i think...is that you know i'm cold,so you say about it as excuse?)...
maybe i think too much about it? 

#2...photo section time...since a long time i no take a pic with you...
actually i really want to make it...but i do not know your mind...
i scare it will make you do not know how to refuse me...
that why at last i also do not make it...
but you take a small group photo(are you purposely make it?)...
maybe i think too much about it?

#3...bigbang concert...when i say i want to buy it(what is your feeling?i do not know...)
but that time you really help me success to buy the ticket
(thank for so hard to help me buy it, is this another way to express you want me join)
maybe i think too much about it?

but now i think it back...what can i do for me...
money?(still a U student...not really have a job)
time?(holiday is end soon)
communication(i not really dare to chat anymore...i cant really find a good topic)
i guess...maybe i really think too much of it...maybe you just treat me as a friend...

//but if 1 day...if i still have a chance...i promise i wont let it go...

pressure?

what is pressure?haha...i also do not know how to express about it...
but for sagitarus people...i think happy can cover about pressure...
due to they are not really quite like to think about the sadness of the story(easy to forget about it)...
but today...i know about it...pressure...
time is not really to much for me...seriously...
too many things...i not yet cover...i need a person to help me at the back...
but i cant find it...it never come to me...i know in this reality world...
who will really willing to use heart to help a person...
i cant say no...but is consider less...
sometimes is all depend on ourselves...
yes...path of life is hard while it is begin...
but i try not to give it up...if i really shut it down on my mind...my life is gone...
i do not want to be like that...

//i do not want to dissapointed the people who support me(family)...


I REALLY LOSE MY DIRECTION...
sometimes i really want you to console me...
*~如果我的真诚会带给你伤害；本人宁可用虚伪带给你快乐~*